RECONSTRUCTING IN THE ANGLICAN ORCHARD
Image courtesy of author.
The Christianity of my high school was a leaning overgrown tree, its roots intertwined with invasive undergrowth and creatures sheltering in its branches. My school affirmed the historic dogmas of the creeds, young earth creationism and biblical inerrancy, and forbade same-sex orientation. Questioning a part meant uprooting the whole tree, risking expulsion, so I stayed in the closet.
In college, I sought refuge in online progressive Christian spaces. But when online leaders dismissed the church as a whole, framed reconstruction as surrender to oppression, and cancelled each other for not being “progressive enough,” I felt lost in this new orchard of stumps, strewn tree limbs, and pop-up shrubs. I then landed at an Episcopal Church, where I encountered Jesus receiving the Eucharist. The strangest part? My sexual orientation was a non-issue. The focal point was Christ. How had I found a church with space to breathe and also structured in tradition and Scripture?
I had found the Anglican tree of teaching. Its stabilizing trunk reaching toward the Eternal Light and anchored in the soil of Scripture, is called dogma, and comprises the essential teachings of the church. Its branches radiate out and upward and are called doctrines, the teachings continuing the work of the trunk (1). The dazzling leaves are called adiaphora, the name for the church’s many diverse practices that change with time and location—clergy vestments, music, and candles. They display a variety of beauty, nourished by contact with the Light (2).
In searching for healing from the pain of weaponized religion and all-or-nothing thinking, I had found a tradition with structure, freedom, and the presence of Jesus. From Pentecostalism to deconstruction, New Age detours, and contemplative liturgy, the Anglican approach helped prune and nourish a healthy faith.
Guideposts in the Wilderness
Before I found the promised land of the Anglican tree, I wandered through the wilderness of uncertainty. I offer two guideposts for us all:
1. Identify True North
Before embarking, remember this is uncharted territory. The human psyche needs stability, a True North to hold when we feel lost (3). It can be too easy to think it is all meaningless. Find community, friends, books, but above all, bring Him for whom darkness is as light (4).
While still in the closet, I remember a moment looking tearfully in the mirror and experiencing Jesus’ presence. I was taught to recognize His presence in childhood, and even amid the pain and into deconstruction, it assured me of His faithfulness. Whether His presence, His lifting of the marginalized or the Sermon on the Mount, hold onto that Solid Ground when all else is shaking around you. If you love Jesus enough to deconstruct your faith, He is your True North.
2. Sacred Separation
Take intentional space from triggering places. Christa Black brilliantly calls this “sacred separation” (5). If we never process pain away from old environments, we remain perpetually triggered by them (5, 6). The gift of deconstruction is a time to grieve, release anger without judgment, and ask questions without being called a heretic. Even Elijah needed a sacred separation to wade through the despair, wind, earthquake, and fire before hearing the Still Small Voice (7).
The temptation here is not in processing pain but in wallowing in it too long afterward. Eventually, resentment toward conservative Christianity, not the Spirit, became my fuel. Elizabeth Bennett taught me that in Chinese medicine, anything can belong, just as long as the energy keeps moving (8). So please, take your sacred separation. It is necessary—Jesus still wept before He raised Lazarus (9). Just remember it is sacred: the tomb is not the end.
The Threshing Floor of Roots
When I learned the Bible was used to justify the oppression of many marginalized groups, interrogation came first. A wrong interpretation might lead to the next injustice. In endless deconstruction, the discard pile takes priority over the others. Jesus has prudent advice: “…while you are pulling the weeds, you may uproot the wheat with them. Let both grow together until the harvest” (10). If we default to discarding what we deconstruct, we lose wheat, mistaking it for chaff. Rather, let both grow to maturation, “test everything; hold fast to what is good,” then discard (11). Do not forget the practice of sacred separation. There is no shame in saying, “I’m going back, praying some imprecatory Psalms, and not worrying about having this one all figured out.” Harvest season will come.
Scripture is the soil on which our Anglican tree is planted (1, 12, 13). Tree roots do not ingest every object they contact. Root hairs use selective permeability to control which nutrients enter, regulate the amount, and block toxins (14, 15). Likewise, our Anglican tree has the creeds, tradition, Christ, and the Holy Spirit to discern the “true and right reading” of the Bible (16, 17). Seeking truth in Scripture is not just in quoting prooftexts but discussing with others and listening for the Spirit’s guidance (17). It will yield nutrients!
In the grief from losing my old faith communities, I took comfort in Luke 4 where Jesus is rejected and driven from his hometown synagogue. He intimately knew my pain. Despite the ways the Bible had been used to hurt me, I found healing minerals in its soil.
Delineated Doctrine
Our True North now takes the form of a rooted trunk, the vital stabilizing channel transporting nourishment. The Nicene and Apostles’ Creeds summarize the most essential teachings of Christianity (1, 13). Anglicanism holds them as the starting place, not the ending place, for other teachings to branch off and grow (18). For the Creeds hold all kinds of interpretive questions to be explored. The Nicene Creed says Jesus is one being with the Father but does not explain how. There are many theories, but none are mandatory (19). Similarly, Anglicans agree that Christ is present at the Eucharist but designate how the elements become His body and blood as discussible “theories of the school” (20). The Anglican approach sustains community by acknowledging differences still anchored in shared agreement.
It also shows us to be adaptable. The 1979 Episcopal Book of Common Prayer changed a non-dogmatic doctrine by allowing all baptized Christians, rather than only Episcopalians, to receive the Eucharist (1, 21). Here, change was faithful, not a backsliding into heresy. Not a case of “anything goes,” or entrenchment of “how it’s always been,” change was guided by the principles of our tree. As psychology shows us, growth happens at the precise edge of both the established and the frontier (22, 23). Too much structure limits and too much disorder overwhelms (23). With the Anglican tree, I could question, explore, and prune my own branches while deepening at the core.
Rooted Insights
In deconstruction, the temptation is to discard; in early reconstruction, it is to uncritically assimilate. “If it brings me life, I adopt it,” is a common attitude in post-deconstruction circles. In my experience, if one idea was true, its whole philosophy de-facto must be true—especially if it was eastern, seemed ancient, sounded progressive and not like “Christianese.”
I once saw the yin-yang as a perfect symbol of God meeting me in my pain. However, I realized it framed light and dark as co-equals, conflicting with the biblical promise of ultimate redemption. I now regard the yin-yang as an allusion to temporal reality: light and dark exist on this side of Eden but not in the highest reality of death defeated. My exploration in other philosophies ironically solidified spiritual truths I learned in childhood while siphoning the unaligned elements.
When encountering new information, I now pause to consider our tree: Does this connect with the tenets of Christianity and my own core values? Is it like the adiaphora leaves, matters that Scripture neither commands nor forbids (1, 2)? Does it require a sacred separation of research and prayer? I am careful not to assign it “dogma” status right away, nor to resort to a fearful sheltering from new ideas. Trees can grow flexibly if they are rooted. Whether an insight from the New Age, politics, a new theory or personal reflection, hold fast to your trunk and discern where it belongs on your tree—if anywhere.
Dynamic Organism
I discovered, to my shock, that Christianity had a mystical leaf. In centering prayer, surrendering my will and turning to Jesus, I once again encountered His Presence. God was the most healing reality I ever experienced in my life. Then, praying the liturgy and reciting the Nicene Creed each Sunday, I realized that I viscerally encounter God’s preeminence in creation, the incarnational reality of Jesus; the Paschal mystery. My pain and suffering are real, but with acceptance and surrender to God, resurrection and ascension are inevitable. The unifying Spirit, unites the Universal Church, living and dead, and promises eternal life. Through the circuitous routes of leaves and branches, I finally saw the robust tree of Christianity. And not just because the Church told me so. Like the Samaritans said to the woman who met Jesus at the well, “It is no longer because of what you said that we believe, for we have heard for ourselves, and we know that this is truly the Savior of the world” (24).
And it was not my discovery! In saying the creeds, we “join an ancient chorus,” as Rachel Held Evans wrote, singing deep spiritual truth articulated and refined over centuries through collective consensus of the faithful (25, 26). As servants of the Orchard Owner, we nourish, prune, and eat the fruit of the tree. We discuss the branches. We pray and listen. Mess one up. Get one right. I invite you to stay here with us. If we need reminders, our tree shows us to hold the good and stable while navigating the unknown. It shows us not to major in the minors. It shows us to prune in season. It shows us to look upward toward the Light and inward where God establishes home in the heart. In the words of C.S. Lewis’s beloved Aslan, “Come further up! Come further in!” (27).
1. Forti, Nicholas. “What Does the Episcopal Church Teach?—Discussion 1:
Doctrine, Dogma, and Adiaphora,” YouTube, November 3, 2021,
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XvvhOq9xj-E.
2. The Episcopal Church. “Adiaphora,” 2021.
https://www.episcopalchurch.org/glossary/adiaphora/.
Thanks to the editor, The Rev. Ben Wyatt, and Benjamin Miller for their insight
and keeping me on track with “adiaphora.”
3. Maslow, Abraham “A Theory of Human Motivation,” Psychological Review, 1943,
https://psychclassics.yorku.ca/Maslow/motivation.htm.
4. Psalms 139:12 NRSVUE
5. Black, Christa. “Q&R #1.” Zoom. Presented at the First Question & Response
Session, “I Got My Power Back,” November 13, 2022.
6. Lusignan, Kerry. “Love Smarter by Learning When to Take a Break.” The
Gottman Institute, June 25, 2024. https://www.gottman.com/blog/love-smarter-
learning-take-break/.
7. 1 Kings 19:11-13 NRSVUE
8. Bennett, Elizabeth. “Jing-Shen Practice.” Video. August 2023.
9. John 11:35-45 NRSVUE
10. Matt. 13:29-30 NRSVUE
11. 1 Thess. 5:21 NRSVUE
12. The Episcopal Church, The Book of Common Prayer (New York: Church
Publishing Incorporated, 1979), Articles of Religion, VI, 868.
13. The Episcopal Church, The Book of Common Prayer (New York: Church
Publishing Incorporated, 1979), Articles of Religion, VIII, 869.
14. “Roots and Root Hairs | CANNA Gardening USA,” Cannagardening.com, 2025,
https://www.cannagardening.com/articles/roots-and-root-hairs.
15. Ramces De-Jesús-García, Ulises Rosas, and Joseph G. Dubrovsky. “The Barrier
Function of Plant Roots: Biological Bases for Selective Uptake and Avoidance of
Soil Compounds,” Functional Plant Biology 47, no. 5 (2020): 383,
https://doi.org/10.1071/fp19144.
16. Christopher Adam, “Scripture, Authority, Tradition and Reason in Richard Hooker
and the Church of England – Christopher Adam,” Christopheradam.ca, 2019,
https://christopheradam.ca/2019/02/23/scripture-authority-tradition-and-reason-
in-richard-hooker-and-the-church-of-england/.
17. The Episcopal Church, The Book of Common Prayer (New York: Church
Publishing Incorporated, 1979), An Outline of the Faith, Question “How do we
understand the meaning of the Bible?” 853-854.
18. Thanks to The Rev. Ben Wyatt for this insight.
19. “Augustine’s de Trinitate - (Intro to Christianity) - Vocab, Definition, Explanations |
Fiveable,” Fiveable.me, 2018, https://library.fiveable.me/key-terms/introduction-
christianity/augustines-de-trinitate.
Many thanks to Rev. Ben Wyatt for this one, as well.
20. Andrewes, Lancelot. Response to Cardinal Bellarmine. Quote accessed from Joe
Rawls, “Anglican Eucharistic Quotes,”
https://thebyzantineanglocatholic.blogspot.com/2007/12/eucharistic-quotes-
anglican.html
21. The Episcopal Church, The Book of Common Prayer (New York: Church
Publishing Incorporated, 1979), Baptism, Concerning the Service, 298.
22. Page, Oliver. “How to Leave Your Comfort Zone and Enter Your ‘Growth Zone,’”
PositivePsychology.com, November 4, 2020,
https://positivepsychology.com/comfort-zone/?utm_source=chatgpt.com.
23. McLeod, Saul. “Vygotsky’s Zone of Proximal Development,” ResearchGate
(SimplyPsychology, August 9, 2024),
https://www.researchgate.net/publication/383563118_Vygotsky.
24. John 4:42 NRSVUE
25. Evans, Rachel Held. Inspired: Slaying Giants, Walking on Water, and Loving the
Bible Again. Nashville: Thomas Nelson, 2018.
26. Rohr, Richard, with Mike Morrell. The Divine Dance: The Trinity and Your
Transformation. Whitaker House, 2016.
27. Lewis, C.S. The Last Battle. HarperCollins, 2000.
