THE EXTRAORDINARY IN THE ORDINARY: DISABILITY AND THE EXPERIENCE OF GOD
Sunset, by Claude Monet. Public Domain.
I am hearing impaired but constantly listening for God. I am visually impaired but constantly looking for God in the world. Throughout most of history my physical differences would have been treated as deficiencies or even punishments doled out by God, but as of late, I view them as enhancements that draw me closer to God. Because I have to work so hard to navigate the world, I am more tuned in to the presence of the Spirit than I would be as an able bodied person. My senses are enhanced and I feel the presence of the Spirit with me in a way that makes me appreciate my (perceived) limitations.
Zephania, Zachariah, the author of Psalm 146, and Isaiah depict blindness and deafness in a negative light. Zephania prophesied on behalf of God that on the day of Judgement of Judah that God would punish those who had sinned against God with blindness: “I will bring distress on mankind so that they will walk like those who are blind, because they have sinned against the LORD” (Zeph. 1:17a). Here Zephania’s prophecy associates blindness with a punishment for unbelief or sin. This line of reasoning is also present in Zechariah 11:17. In Exodus 4:11, blindness and deafness are identified as markers of God’s power over humanity. In this speech, God speaks to Moses about God’s authority which requires Moses’ obedience because God creates all humans, even disabled ones. The author of Psalm 146 describes God’s healing power as a gift that is granted towards the “righteous, ” “The LORD opens the eyes of those who are blind; The LORD raises up those who are bowed down; The LORD loves the righteous.” (Ps. 146:8). The prophet Isaiah also uses blindness and deafness to highlight the power of God to remove physical barriers from the disabled (Is. 29:18, 35:5, 42:7, and 42:18).
The prophets say that God will restore sight and sound to those who are blind and deaf when the people embrace their covenant with God and turn away from their sin. But how should a modern person read these texts? The way I choose to read them is by acknowledging that they were written by authors who were socialized to believe that disabilities or physical differences were bad things. God was using the language and metaphor of the people at that time to meet them where they were. I am not arguing that the prophetic writings are irrelevant or that modern people should not read them as sacred, but I am advocating for a reading of these texts that puts them in historical context.
I am also advocating for an empowered reading of the historical texts like Isaiah 6:10: “Make the hearts of this people insensitive,
Their ears dull,
And their eyes blind,
So that they will not see with their eyes,
Hear with their ears,
Understand with their hearts,
And return and be healed.”
I see this passage as revelation; God will reveal God's self to the blind and deaf in God's way. Physical differences might make me more dependent on God in a sense, but that brings me closer to God. I “return” to God to be “healed,” but I am not wholly convinced that this is a physical healing. I read this as an emotional or social healing that God provides to those with physical differences. I might not experience the divine as a fully sighted or hearing person, but when I see and hear God it is even that much more awesome because I have to work so hard to "get it". I intentionally use this word "awesome" because this communion is awe-inspiring. As a disabled person I had to learn to love my body as God's perfect creation--just like ALL of God's creation.
Isaiah 35:5, “Then will the eyes of the blind be opened and the ears of the deaf unstopped” has often been read by theologians and ministers as evidence of God’s power to restore and hearing, but I offer an alternative reading: maybe the miracle is that God shows up for the blind and the deaf to meet them where they are and how they experience God. Maybe the miracle is that God is able to radically include all people in the Kingdom in a way that humans cannot do with those who are different. What if this is actually an example of how God wants us to regard those who are not able-bodied instead of praying for God to change them or to heal them?
Even though it frustrates and confuses me, my body is made in the image of God. Even though others tell me it isn't, my body is made in the image of God. Even though I might not always believe it myself, my body is made in the image of God.
I may not be perfect by human standards, but I am perfect by God's standards. Whether or not my eyes and ears function like other people's, they are functioning as God has created them to function, so they are perfect. As my vision deteriorates I am floored by a breathtaking sunset. It is almost as if I am so aware of the sight of divinity because I know I might not be able to see this example of divinity on earth forever. When I hear the sacred sounds of joyful childhood laughter, my ears reverberate with the magnitude of divinity that has graced my failing ears. When I feel so close to losing my sight and hearing, so many ordinary sights and sounds become holy ones.
I might not always be able to make out every individual streak of color in a sunset, but I can see the fading of light into darkness and I know that only God can be the creator of such a majestic sight. The specific beauty of the sunset is not as important as the overall reality that the sun will continue to rise and set whether we take the time to enjoy it or if we continue to have the ability to see it. I might not always be able to follow along with hymns in church because the sound is too jumbled for me to hear each individual word, but I am still in awe of the music and the sounds of communal singing. Instead of trying to pick out words and follow along with the hymn, I lean into the moment and allow myself to feel the music reverberating in my body as if I have been fully embraced by those who are singing for God. In this way, my inability to hear has provided another opportunity to appreciate community and to connect with God.
When I experience the power of these sensory moments, I know how easy it is for my able bodied friends to take all of these experiences as typical when I know they are extraordinary. The deficiency of able bodiedness is taking for granted all of these experiences as typical, when I know that they are extraordinary. In this sense, I hope that one day the sighted will be blind and that the hearing will be deafened so they may experience God's world as I do. I am not wishing that my able bodied friends lose their sight or their hearing, but I do pray that they may experience divinity in a way that rocks their world as it has mine.
At the time that the Book of Isaiah was written there was little distinction between blindness and visual impairment, or between deafness and hearing impairment. In the modern world we have many different categories of disability and we acknowledge that disability falls on a spectrum. I might not be blind, but I am visually impaired. I might not be deaf, but I am hearing impaired. Identifying as “impaired” means that I see and hear in a way that is less than average. Some individuals with disabilities prefer different terms like “physical difference” or “atypical;” it really depends on the person. I prefer the word “impairment” because I recognize that my eyes and ears function at a lower capacity than other people’s do. It is not something that makes me less than a person, but I am not always able to function as a non-impaired person.
Instead of feeling bad for someone who can’t experience God in a “typical” way, maybe it should be the call of all Christians to learn from those who experience God in “atypical” ways because it could actually reveal something about God that able bodied people miss! If we are all reflections of the Imago Dei then maybe able-bodiedness is not the standard lens with which God views the Kingdom. As the modern world learns more about disabilities and differences of abilities, our theologies and ministries need to expand to include our modern revelations. As inheritors of toxic theologies of disability it is our responsibility to re-frame our interpretations to make way for more inclusion in our Church and our churches.
To all the ministers, theologians, and lay leaders who are reading this I pose the following questions:
How do your theologies make room for difference of ability to be celebrated?
What have you learned (or had to unlearn) about a Bible passages that center disability?
How do you create space for alternative theologies about disabilities to be showcased in your community?
To those persons in our Church who identify as a person with a disability or difference of ability I pose the following questions:
Where do we fail to represent your experience in our theologies or preaching?
How can we better make space for your particular interpretations?
What do you want persons identifying as able-bodied to know about your faith life?
Remember that though I am a person with disabilities, I do not represent the entire community of those who identify as disabled. The purpose of this post is to present my experiences and to start a dialogue about the topic. I welcome disagreement from my disabled or differently abled siblings in the Church. I look forward to our conversations and to learning more about your faith life and Church experiences.
