HIDDEN BLESSINGS

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Blessings can come at any time, but would you look for one in a hospital room where a teenage boy is dying? If the boy is cured, one would surely claim a blessing. But what if the boy is not cured? Can blessings appear in difficult times? What if our prayers for healing are not answered as we wish? Are blessings found even then?

We find the beatitudes in the fifth chapter of Matthew’s gospel. They begin: blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. The blessings that follow include those who mourn, the meek, the hungry, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and those who are persecuted for righteousness’ sake.

The original Greek words suggest that there is someone behind each blessing. Some translations read: “happy are they.” But again, they should be read with the thought that someone is behind that happiness. We might translate the first beatitude like this: “There is One who blesses the poor.” There is One who stands nearby. My story begins with this sense of divine nearness.

At age fifteen we do not expect to die. Life is young and we are alive. Erik certainly embraced life as we planned our trip to a week-long summer retreat. But shortly before we were to leave, Erik developed a pain in his thigh. The diagnosis was a rare cancer. As his friends climbed into cars to leave for the mountains, Erik stayed behind.

When we returned a week later, Erik was in the hospital where he would spend much of the next year. Erik’s family pulled a motorhome into the hospital parking lot in order to be near him. There were short periods at home, but much of the time was taken up with treatments, surgeries, and weeks in bed. 

As his pastor, I visited Erik regularly. Before one particular visit, I searched shops for a poster that might bring cheer to his room. I could find nothing suitable, and in desperation, chose a poster with a roller-coaster. It turned out to be the perfect visual for Erik’s fight against cancer. Some days Erik rose to the top. On other days he dove to the bottom. The roller coaster ride lasted almost a year. The days and weeks brought more treatments and more surgeries. Finally, Erik was put on a respirator to help him breathe. Where were the blessings? 

One might see blessings in the humorous moments that occurred. One morning, a doctor visited Erik’s room and stepped over his brothers sleeping on the floor. “Could you not stay awake for an hour,” Jesus said (Matthew 26:4). Erik’s mother smiled at the doctor and explained, “Here are the sleeping disciples.” The hospital staff often brought an atmosphere of blessing to Erik’s room. 

Sometimes Erik wanted to see Chappy, the small family dog, but of course, animals were not allowed in the hospital. The doctors and nurses, understanding the seriousness of Erik’s condition, talked about this. When asked about bringing a puppy to see Erik, one of the staff members said, “What we don’t see we can’t comment on.” The next day, a family member entered Erik’s room with a furry baby wrapped in a blanket.

“Did you see anything?” asked the doctor.
“I didn’t see anything,” said the nurse.

We continued to look for a miracle as Erik’s health deteriorated. A setback occurred when he was unable to speak due to blisters forming in his mouth. Not long after this, Erik’s skin became too sensitive to touch. This was particularly difficult for his family.

On my regular visits to see Erik, I watched as doctors and nurses grew closer to him, treating him as a person rather than as a patient. They became part of a helpful and caring family, and as he grew worse, they spent more time in his room. His family was with him day and night. I spent days at the hospital, sometimes sleeping in a spare room. Then hidden blessings began to appear.

The first observable blessing came when Erik’s mouth began to clear up, and he was able to speak. This was particularly important because of what happened next. Unexpectedly, Erik turned to his brothers, and with a clear voice said, “Geoff, I want you to have my favorite blanket.” To his other brothers, he said, “Ryan, you can have my savings. Jonathan, you can take care of Chappy.”

We were astounded. But Erik was not finished. He turned to a doctor who had befriended him throughout his illness. Erik knew the doctor had an incurable heart condition. He looked at the doctor and said, “Doctor, I give you my heart.” Though he doctor knew that this wasn’t possible, the thought was too much, and he left the room in tears.

The second blessing came as Erik’s skin grew less sensitive, allowing his family to touch him. In the last hours, the family stood on both sides of Erik’s bed and offered him that special gift of touch.

Before moving to what we saw as the next blessing, we should consider three expressions: made clean (cured), healed, and made well (whole). Can a person die and yet be made whole? 

In chapter seventeen of the Gospel of Luke, Jesus meets ten lepers. The English translation does not convey the deeper meaning of the words which tell us more as we look closely. Jesus uses three different words to suggest three different kinds of wellness. The New Revised Standard Version tells the story of the lepers as follows: 

And as they (the lepers) went, they were made clean. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice. And finally, concerning the leper who returned: “Get up and go on your way; your faith has made you well.”

Note that all ten lepers were made clean and healed. Only the leper who returned to give thanks was made well or whole. The ancient writers often wrote in triplets as is the case here in Luke. The third and last line carries the emphasis. We find it in the words, being made well or whole which give the meaning more significance. Do we only consider it a miracle if a person is cured?

In Erik’s case, wholeness appeared as a third blessing. It came when Erik’s family was in his room on the last night Erik would spend in the hospital. They told Erik how proud they were of him. With difficulty, they told him that he had fought a good fight and it was okay to let go. This was important, because often a patient will hold on to life because they are afraid to disappoint the ones they love.

We prayed with Erik. Then we witnessed the last unexpected blessing. Erik turned to the nurse and said, “I’m not going to live, am I?” She looked kindly into his face and shook her head. There was no fear on Erik’s face. There were no tears. Erik simply closed his eyes as if going to sleep. It was not a cure. He was not healed. Erik was made whole, and he died peacefully. 

Blessings come from the One who is behind the blessing, the One who is nearby.

Nancy Wood is an author who writes about Native American spirituality. In her picture book, Spirit Walker, she gives us a poem with the same title. The first stanza of that poem is the perfect way to understand hidden blessings:

Bless these, our circumstances,
Bless the hardship and the pain.
Bless the hunger and the thirst.
Bless the locust and the drought.
Bless the things which do not turn out right.
Bless all those who take all and give not.
In these circumstances, find growth.
In growth, discover clarity.
In clarity, an inner vision.