MY INDEPENDENT CLERGY FILMMAKER LIFE
Photo by Aaron Burden on Unsplash
I laugh when I read about people working during this pandemic with no makeup, slouchy clothing, and no hair product. My work bag and Amazon searches now resemble that of a beginner amateur filmmaker. The questions I used to ask myself every day while getting dressed would be, “How hot will it be today? Do I need to be prepared to walk a long way in a hospital parking lot? Do I need to wear my collar?” Now, as I look in the mirror and consider my daily calendar I ask myself, “Is this dress face-flattering? Is my makeup camera ready? Do my earrings need to be a seasonal liturgical color?” My pre-quarantine pixie haircut is threatening to verge into mullet territory (vestry in the front, choir party in the back) and I’ve gone from “wash and air-dry” to “shampoo, conditioner, three products and a barrette” to keep this ever-growing mop in place.
All this because I transitioned from one parish to another in the midst of Coronatide. Instead of greeting my new parishioners at regularly-scheduled worship, small groups, and neighborhood potlucks, I am introducing myself to my new congregation by video. With the exception of some socially-distanced outdoor lawn chair meetups and chatting with the Sunday morning live stream team, the only safe way I can communicate with smiles, spoken and sung words, announcements, children’s moments and the like—is via Zoom and the little lens in my iPhone.
As an older Gen Xer, I had primarily used my phone for—phone calls. I liked uploading photos to social media, but other than trying to catch my cats’ antics or ridiculous Oklahoma weather on video, I had ignored most of the video options on my phone. (Millennial Colleague/Friend: “I’ve become a real expert at iMovie!” Me: “Great! What’s iMovie?”) But now I use it all the time. Now a couple of days a week, I take my Joby tripod (who knew Wirecutter was going to be my transitional spiritual director) and my phone, puttering around the church, looking for good lighting and places for the tripod that won’t shock the Altar Guild when they see it on camera. Finding new uses for the church library in this pandemic, I pile The Message, the New Interpreter’s Bible, and a volume by Paul Tillich as a platform for my iPhone 6 on this foot-high tripod.
I suspect I am not alone in finding that this new aspect of my vocation looks something like:
Take 1
Camera not high enough, leading to unflattering angle and pronounced double chin. Retrieve more books from library and place under webcam.
Take 2
Nailed it! Begin editing in iMovie. Realize stray piece of hair has escaped the three hair products and barrette and is distractingly poofy.
Take 3
Still not satisfied with camera angle. Retrieve Parallel Bible from office and add to Tower of Bible.
Take 4
Forget to mention time of Bible study.
Take 5
Forget to mention date of Bible study.
Take 6
Forget to mention which book we are reading in Bible study.
Take 7
Double chin frighteningly visible. Adjust tripod setup again.
Take 8
Move outside for flattering natural light. Car horn interrupts train of thought.
Take 9
Not actually a video, but a 100 picture photo burst.
Take 10
Forget name of own congregation.
Take 11
Maxed out iPhone storage. Delete previous 10 videos and try again.
Take 999 (approximately)
Done is better than good. Edit in iMovie. Clip off hands reaching for “record” button, add text, and fade-to-black. Successful upload to Facebook, wait for enthusiastic interaction and comments… Twenty four hours later, two “likes”—one from spouse, one from supportive mother-in-law.
