JORDAN’S CHURCH NERD GIFT GUIDE 2020
Photo from Unsplash
It’s almost Christmas, and you know what that means. No, I’m not talking about the Nativity of Our Lord. I’m talking about presents! We all know that gifts aren’t the reason for the season (except for the gift of the Incarnation, of course), but that won’t stop most of us from buying stuff for our nearest and dearest. In the midst of pandemic, though, it’s safer to stay out of brick and mortar stores, so I’m here to bring you Jordan’s Church Nerd Gift Guide 2020, chock full of gift ideas for your favorite ECFs (Extremely Churchy Friends, not Episcopal Church Foundations). Let’s be honest, though, these might just be the perfect gifts for you, too! Treat yourself.
Please note: while some of the products referenced below are designed by members of the E&A team or our loved ones, this is #notanad.
Has your loved one found their true calling doing pandemic baking? Are they taking seriously Jesus’s call to feed his sheep? Consider buying them an apron that proclaims “I like to bake and I also like the Resurrection.”
Does your friend like accessorizing their laptop? Are they always looking for subtle ways of telling people, “yeah, I’m a church nerd”? Check out these stickers from Art of Marza.
For the saints stans in your life, check out Kate Mumey’s Redbubble shop. She’s drawn a wide variety of saints and they can be printed on all sorts of different products. If you look hard enough, you might even find a stray Taylor Swift sticker. I’m not saying she’s a saint, but my seminary senior superlative was “Most Likely to Write a Theology of Every Taylor Swift Song.”
Speaking of saints, check out Tiny Saints, miniature keychains featuring a wide variety of saints. Gotta catch ‘em all! (I know that’s about Pokémon, but it seems appropriate here, too.)
Nothing says “comfortable words” like a plushie Book of Common Prayer. If you buy one of these, you won’t just be getting a cool product, you’ll also be supporting a great cause; $10 of every sale benefits Plainsong Farm & Ministry. These Common Prayer plushies are going fast, but you can sign up to be notified when they’re back in stock. A Spanish Libro de Oración Común option is forthcoming, as well!
If you’ve read this far and are still looking for a subtle way of signaling to the world that you just love church so much, consider one of these “and also with you” stickers for your laptop or water bottle. Stick them on your stuff and see who greets you with “The Lord be with you.”
Plaster Bust of Presiding Bishop Michael Curry
For your friends who can’t get enough of Presiding Bishop Michael Curry, consider an original plaster bust of him. It will tell everyone who comes to their home or office, “Yes, I did watch the royal wedding.”
Do you and your friends miss those church potlucks? Consider a vintage church cookbookfrom Etsy, such as this one (although there is quite a variety available). Not only are you guaranteed to find some delicious casserole recipes to sustain you throughout the winter months, it doubles as an educational tool. What is an aspic anyway? You’re about to find out.
Rowan Williams Shower Curtain … and More
Do you know someone who has always dreamed of having Rowan Williams on their shower curtain? If so, you’re in luck. Check out Chris Corbin’s Redbubble shop for gear featuring the former Archbishop of Canterbury and more!
Incense, Calligraphy Prints, Breviaries and More
*Extreme Stefon Voice* This monastic bookstore has everything. Stuff you can burn. Stuff to put on your walls. Stuff you can read. Check out the Holy Cross bookstore for incense, calligraphy prints, breviaries, and more.
Are you trying to get someone in your life to celebrate Advent? Consider buying them a beautiful candle holder made by Scott Keith. Both the Portia and the Birnam work as an everyday candle holder as well as a modern twist on an Advent wreath.
For the babies in your life, consider some Episcopal shield socks. We probably wouldn’t be lamenting the lack of youth in the church if we’d gotten them all Episcopal shield socks from the beginning. “Train children in the right way, and when old, they will not stray,” as we hear in Proverbs 22:6.
Does your friend love Compline AND supporting the United States Postal Service? Consider getting thema set of cards that they can send to friends.
Do you or someone you love adore adoration? Have you been looking for a mask with a monstrance? Look no further!
Jokes and puns aside, and whether or not you buy anything from this list this Christmas season, I hope you’ll think small when you do your shopping this year. Small businesses, that is. When you make your purchases, consider supporting those for whom a few sales might make all the difference: small businesses, independent retailers, side hustle crafting gigs, and all the other creators who use their passions to bring us beautiful, fun, and funny things during a time when we could all use a little more beauty and fun.