Father of all the nations, I pray for the safety and well-being of all the delightful people we encounter while watching Somebody Feed Phil. Thank you for blessing us with so many diverse and beautiful cities around the globe. (clearing throat) Maybe someday you’ll let us visit them again. Just a thought.   

Lord of redemption, I pray for healing for the victims of Jeffrey Epstein. And I pray in thanksgiving for the work they are doing to educate all of us about the prevalence of modern-day sex trafficking. May justice roll on like a river over the corrupt government officials who protected him. A Mississippi-sized river of justice, preferably. 

Creative Creator, I thank you for the Great British Baking Show which has kept me company every day while I eat my lunch. Thank you for all the marvelous personalities in that tent, especially the guy in Season Five who was so unused to receiving praise he cried, the lady in Season Four who was sad to leave not because she wanted to win, but because she really enjoyed baking with other people instead of alone in her kitchen, and, of course, for Raul in Season Six. 

Father of Truth, I pray for Michael Peterson and his family. May they have many happy times together in the years to come. And God, please, please help me to remember that even though the circumstances of his wife’s death are a mind-boggling mystery that is easy to obsess over, the tragedy is that a wonderful woman lost her life. 

(pause)

Although God, I do shamefully confess that I would REALLY appreciate it if you revealed to us what happened. Especially whether it was an owl or not. (How on earth could they have only spent THREE minutes on the owl theory?!)

Lastly, God of Absolution, forgive me for wasting six precious hours of the life you so generously bestowed upon me watching The Tiger King.  And please send someone to rescue those tigers ASAP. 

(extended pause)

(whispering) God, I really do promise to read more next week.